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Phil's Web Page!!

~* Welcome To The Geocities School *~

this page is about the school of innocence. web brutalism KNOWS what design is and rejects it. geocities never met design in the first place. that's the whole point.

NEW! UPDATED 5/12/2026!

VISITORS: 00042 best viewed in Netscape 4 at 800x600 made with Notepad >:-)

under construction

geocities was the dominant free-homepage service of the late 1990s and early 2000s. tiled backgrounds, animated gifs, comic sans, hit counters, frame layouts, "best viewed in netscape 4" badges. anti-design by innocence, not refusal — the page is built, not designed, by people who had never met the word "designer." unimpeccable inherits the table layouts, the web-safe palette, the rationed gifs, the visible production marks. the modern revival lives at neocities.org.

how to use!
/unimpeccable:pick-school geocities
/unimpeccable:spawn "a fan page for a band you like"

last updated: 2026-05-12  |  i made this site myself :)

Before / After: Linktree

linktree is the modern descendant of the personal homepage, sanitized into a one-column saas product. compare what it would look like in geocities.

before. linktree as it is.
after. as a geocities page.
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Phil's Stuff!

~ links to all my projects ~

★ My Latest Post (added 5/9!) ★ My Book — buy it from the publisher ★ My Podcast — i talk into a microphone ★ My Substack — emails about stuff ★ Follow me on Instagram — pictures ★ Email me — phil [at] metisio [dot] com

VISITORS: 00043    last updated 5/12

Rules ★

a few things that matter for staying in this school.

  1. tables for layout. position absolute, flex, and grid are banned. this school predates them. if you use them, you're not in geocities anymore.
  2. tiled background image. one image, repeating, behind everything. starfield, marble, plaid, gradient bars, dithered noise.
  3. three to five animated gifs. per significant section. more is slop. fewer is "modernized geocities" — which is impeccable wearing the costume.
  4. web-safe colors. the 216-color palette. all values from #00 #33 #66 #99 #CC #FF. zero regard for harmony.
  5. comic sans is allowed. this is the only school where it is. for personal headlines and "about me" sections. don't overuse.
  6. fonts can change mid-paragraph. times to verdana to courier to comic sans. that's authentic. don't enforce a "type system."
  7. hit counter + last-updated + under-construction badge. all three. canonical.
  8. blue underlined links (#0000EE) and purple visited (#551A8B). browser defaults.
  9. "i made this site myself!" sincerity is the voice. ironic 90s nostalgia is a different register.
  10. still hold AA contrast on body text. tiled backgrounds need solid background blocks behind real text. anti-design, not cruelty.

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VISITORS: 00043

© 2026 phil's web page. school 07 of 08. last updated 5/12. made by hand. :)

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